Pure Hilarity!

Lilly - KNOCK KNOCK WHO'S THERE!?
Mummy - Are you telling a joke Lilly?
Lilly - YES! KNOCK KNOCK
Mummy - Who's There?
Lilly - DADDY!
Mummy - Daddy who?
Lilly - DADDY....mouth... yes, DADDY MOUTH! *nods a bit*

-insert Mummy telling her what a marvellous joke that was-

Lilly - DADDY HEAD TOO!!!


She's such a cute kid! Not very funny though.

Fartybums

This morning Caitie did the most impressive fart I have heard issue from the bottom of a small child.

She was sitting on the floor in front of the telli watching Bear in the Big Blue House (wearing no pants of course, these kids often choose to pursue the nudist lifestyle in the comfort of their own home.. actually anywhere I'll let them get away with it) when suddenly there was an explosive rumbling sound and I swear the floor vibrated.

I looked over to her and she was hunched over, peering under her bottom (I think she was checking to see if there was any follow through) and then she started giggling and she said "I did fartybums.. it scared me!!"

I probably should have reminded her to excuse herself, but I'm afraid I was too busy laughing.

If she had been wearing underpants I bet there would have been a comical hole ripped in the arse of them!

copy and paste

JelliBean> also I have no presnt for you yet
JelliBean> it didn't not arrive in the mail today :/
Philgone> BITCH! :P
Philgone> it didn't not arrive?
Philgone> so it.. did.. arrive
JelliBean> hehe oops darn typos
JelliBean> I meant did not
JelliBean> I am wrestling Lilly
Chug> In jelly?
JelliBean> cos she keeps putting her arms down the front of my shirt to grab my nipples
Chug> hehe
JelliBean> and then she yells BOOBIES and giggles lots
Philgone> that is the best story I have heard all day

Stop, thief!

Lilly just tried to make a break for it, well either that or she was trying to steal my shoes.

I went out to check the letterbox and she shuffled out behind me wearing my shoes. She shuffled all the way down the driveway to the letterboxes with me.

Our neighbour was outside loading her car and after a few called out pleasantries I turned around to see Lilly heading off down the street. Admittedly she hadn't actually quite reached the road, but still, she was OFF!! As fast as her little shuffly, giant shoe wearing feet could take her!

When I yelled "Oi Lilly STOP!" she gained even more speed.

I don't know if you have ever seen a small child trying to run while they are wearing grown up shoes, but trust me, it's pretty darn funny :P

And now for a picture totally unrelated to my story..

No Poo in this Post

I just caught Lilly doing something rather amusing.

I had made some fairy bread toast for the kids for their afternoon tea and I hadn't yet put the margarine or hundreds and thousands away.

Caitie and I were sitting in the lounge when I realised I wasn't sure where Lilly was, and she being awfully quiet - a recipe for disaster I can assure you.

Then I heard it. A small sound from the direction of the kitchen. She had given her position away! I quietly snuck towards the door and peeped in to see her standing on a chair that she had pushed up against the bench. She had removed her pants and was busily smearing her legs and bare buttocks with margarine.

Next she grabbed the hundreds and thousands shaker and tried to sprinkle them onto the margarine on her legs.

That's about the time I started giggling.

Seriously, I have strange children.

Lilly likes to poo on the carpet.

This is the face of a child who likes to poo on the floor.

It seems like every second day that Caitie comes running up to me yelling "Mum Mum it's an EMERGENCY!". Lilly likes to take off her pants and her nappy you see. Even though it's winter and her little legs and feet get bloody cold. A nappyless child wandering around on carpet.. I'm sure you can imagine the fun I have.

Usually Caitie yells "Mum Mum it's an EMERGENCY!" and I go in there with some toilet paper and I pick up the poop and I chuck it in the loo (hooray for solid kiddy poop) and lecture Lilly on how she should go sit on the potty if she feels like doing poos and she agrees by saying "yeah!" and then she'll go sit on the potty and give me one of those big cheesy grins and then a minute later she will lose interest and wander off.

But not today. Today was different.

This morning Caitie came hopping up to me and said "Mummy I've stepped on something" so I looked at the bottom of her foot and saw a brown smear. "Is that poo?" I asked her. "Yes" she said.

She thought she remembered where she had stepped in it so she led me into her bedroom and pointed. Alas, that was the location of the poo we discovered last night as we put the kids to bed (Lilly is a stealth pooper and if Caitie or I don't catch her at it then she will quietly leave her deposit to be discovered by somebody else later).

Thus began the great poo hunt.

We checked the playroom first because that's a room that tends to promote a lot of crouching as they play on the floor, but there was no poo to be found. (By the way I did wipe the poop off of Caitie's foot with a baby wipe right after she showed me - just in case you were thinking I'd left it there and was still making her hop around the house). So next we headed to the loungeroom and there in the centre of the floor, on a piece of paper was a big poop.

I went and tipped it in the loo and then I threw the paper away. Caitie was most upset about the paper being thrown away. She had been going to make something with it apparently.

Then I came back into the room and noticed some more little mysterious brown chunks on the floor near the tv. The open box of Chocolate flavoured Wiggles ABC Letter Biscuits lay nearby. Were they small nuggets of poo, or were they delicious tasty biscuits? How could I be sure?

So I grabbed a trusty popstick from the useful box and I gave them a poke. They were Biscuits! Thank goodness.

And thus concludes today's poopy adventure.

Mysterious Excrement of DOOOOOOOM!!

This afternoon we paid a visit to our local Dewsons to buy the fixings for a delicious dinner, all had gone well, we were on our way back to the car when Caitie was heard to say "I'm BUSTING!". Another trip to the public toilets had become necessary.

I say another because we had already made a mad dash to the dunny about 15 minutes beforehand (this kid piddles a lot).

Hand in hand we walked briskly, unprepared for what was laying in wait just around the corner.

The toilets are about 10m down a corridor that is situated in an out of the way corner of the shopping centre. As we came closer to the corridor I said to Caitie "Gee, it's a bit stinky isn't it?" and then we saw why. There in the very centre of the floor, about 1 step into the corridor was a pile of poo. By pile I mean at least 3 large logs. Somebody had crapped on the floor, and boy did it STINK!

If it hadn't been a toilet emergency we would have just turned straight around, but Caitie was BUSTING. We had to edge our way past it and carry on. I had never really considered how poorly ventilated that corridor was, but I was considering it now.

I thought the walk to the toilet had been bad, but when we stepped out of the ladies, and looked back up the corridor we could see it on the floor in the distance, mocking us. Each step we took brought us closer to it, closer and closer, and then it was right there and we were edging around it again. And then we were out! We had safely made it past. I would have sighed with relief, but the smell was pretty bad, and you know how it is with horrible smells and breathing through your mouth, I certainly had no desire to 'taste' it.

I wonder if it is there still?

The cleaning ladies don't work on Sundays..